Nom Nom Nom!

Since I dedicated my previous blog entry to food I don’t like I decided to write this week’s blog about all my favourite noms!

First and foremost the ambrosia that is chicken nuggets. Is there anything more delicious than chicken nuggets, I think not.

Secondly, McDonald’s super noodles. A staple in my diet and a regular in my cupboard.

Beetroot. Is it a vegetable? I don’t even know but I’ve gone through a jar of it every week since I was 6. Serving suggestion: Eat it straight out of the jar with a fork, it doesn’t go with anything else.

Cheesestrings, without which I would suffer severely from rickets.

And last but by no means least, Coco pops. Nom Nom Nom J

Till next week x

Things I can't eat- The Anti Food Blog

I'm very fussy about food. What I like I eat copious amount of, I live mainly on a mixture of Coco Pops, chicken nuggets and spaghettios. I never try new things and I'm starting to think that the lack of fresh fruit and vegetables, vitamins and protein have left me a miniscule 5"2. There are things I have never tried like fish, steak, lamb, pork, duck, pudding and things I will never try goat's cheese and rabbit and marmite. The following conatins a detailed account of why I find stuff really gross.

Quiche- Quich smells like old people's houses. If I were to eat Quich, with every bite I would be quietly thinking to myself this is most definately how a wrinkly old person would taste.

Pate- I used to love this. I ate it everday on toast, cream crackers... or straight out of the tub with a spoon. Then my brother told me what it was. That was twenty years ago. I haven't touched it since.

Fish- Fish are visual repulsive. They look slimey and evil.

Lambs- Lambs are too cute to eat. Eating lamb is like eating a kitty or a puppy.

Duck- Duckies? How do people eat duckies?!

Pork- It's grey. Grey is not an apitising colour for noms.

Turkey- I used to eat turkey all the time, then I found out it was a type of pheasant. I aint eating no pheasant.

Steak- When you think about it, and I mean really think about it. Steak, essentially, is a slice of ass.

Rivita- The yockiest cracker in existance. One would liken it to a rectangle of cardboardy- sand.

There is method to my madness. I have two older brothers who loved telling me from a young age in great detail what everything was made of, ad libbing usually and putting their own spin on things like the chips in lennoxes are squishy because they make them and then throw them out in the garden and stamp on them, wash them down and reheat them. Or that when restaurants run out of chicken they use white rats. Or that hot dogs are really made form all dogs that run away from home.

Well, you can see why I'm a bit weird about stuff.

Things that make me feel old

The following is a list of things that make me feel ridiculously old:
Bart Simpson turns 35 this year.
Tommy from the Rugrats would be pushing 24.
Marilyn Monroe would be 90 if she was alive today.

Ross' son Ben in Friends would e turning 18 this year.
I made my Communion 19 years ago this May.
Kevin from the Backstreet Boys is now 44.
Macauley Culkin is 33.

Clarissa from Clarissa explaims it all would be 38 now.
All three Hanson brothers are married with kids.
Tha macerana is nearly 20 years old.
Mother Theresa and Lady Diana have been dead for 15 years.
I can't find bottles os Score lemonade anywhere.
I don't remember what my natural hair colour is.
Hakeem from Moesha is dead. When I told the 18 year olds who I worked with this bit of news they asked me what a Moesha was.

Anyone else starting to feel like this? :(

Another way I avoid studying is spending hours upon hours thoroughly reading every article featured in the online Daily Mail website. What they lack in correct grammar and spelling they make up for in sensational headlines and showing celebs at their worst. Today's top story illustrated some of the funniest homework submissions teacher's in the US and UK had recieved. They are some of the most hilarious things I've ever read. It made me think back to my school days and some of the stuff I used to hand up. I remember writing a two page essay on why I hated Gay Byrne. Now don't get me wrong, Gaybo is antionally gem and all that but when you're 7 and you're parents won't let you change the channel over from the Late Late show you form a pretty big grudge. I think my essay went something like this... I hate Gay Byrne, he is old and I don't like old people. He is not funny, probably because he is old. I bet all he does all day is sit around eating soup, because he is old. I went on for another bit throwing around age-ist slurs but you catch the drift.

I remember spending hours at a friend's house whose Mom was a teacher at our school and waiting for her to leave so we could poke through some of the essays the first years had handed up to her as homework. The history ones were pure gold. " I am a knight, I live on a horse, I have a knife for stabbing people. I heart the king and queen. They are my Mom and Dad".

Oh god it's stuff like that and these pictures that very nearly almost makes me want to be a teacher!

You can't spell success without UCC

If you're a UCC student and you haven't been living underneath a rock you're sure to have come across the UCC Memes facebook page. It is quite literally the funniest thing I have ever seen in my life. Spot on stuff particularly their pics of Mature Students and CIT. God they give CIT an awful bashing. It got me thinking... what do we have against CIT anyways is it friendly banter or just a bit of a rivalry? I used to go there studying when I was in 6th year. Their library is the noisiest place on earth and all the desks are covered in graffiti: not really complaining though because most of it is pretty funny apart from the occasional pornagraphic doodles. Other than that the campus looks nice. Bit too much concrete but not an eyesore by anyone's standards. The cafeteria has much nicer food than the Main Restaurant in UCC and the talent in there is rather savage if I do say so myself. I usual don't give the place too much thought but then some CIT student in Havanas goes on about how their both practically the same and the UCC snob in me comes out I'm ashamed to say. Are we being childish/snobbish/hard headed about CIT? Or are we just being frickin' hilarious?

Noisy Neighbours and Evil Landlords

I moved into a ground floor apartment two years back. When we went to view it we thought it was great, spacious and furnished nicely with all major appliances included. We paid our deposit and soon moved in, delighted with out new home. That warm and fuzzy feeling lasted about two hours because that is when our upstairs neighbours moved in. In my estimation there must be atleat fifteen of them living up there in a two bedroom apartment with thin wooden floors. Natives of Romania, they didn't let the idea of confined space deter them from setting up sticks. Of the fifteen, nine are children who don't seem to go to school considering they spend most of the day running aimlessy from one end of the apartment to the other. They rarely seem to venture outdoors and keep their curtains closed all the time. They blare music and dance and jump and scream and bang and worst of all they've stolen all the clothes pegs off my line! :( I've tried tapping the ceiling with my sweeping brush but they just tap back. I've asked my landlord to contact their landlord to complain but he doesn't seem to bothered... So at the end of the day I decided it just wasn't worth it and we handed in our notice! And what a relief it was!Moving out next week! So to ease my stresses I've been watching this vid on repeat... I challenge you to not be endeared :)

12 weeks 'till our finals :(

So I took a brief break from blogging for the last two weeks, mostly due to the never ending amount of essays, group projects and inclass tests that most of us have had on our plates this term. Its funny to think its all coming to an end now and this is the last hurdle. This will be the last April I spend glued to my seat in the library, watching the sun beaming down, listening to the student union nominees ask for votes and offer questionable queen cakes and irresistable drumstick lollies... yum. This will also hopefully be the last time I spend an entire month tossing and turning in my sleep, downing gallons of rescue rememedy and panicing at the thought of these dreaded exams. I have little routines that I swear by to keep me calm coming upto exams.. firstly watch all the soaps religiously - a nice break from reality does the ming good. Secondly, paint my nails, its nice to look down at pinks and purples instead of chipped red. Finally, I take youtube/ lame book breaks breaks ever couple of hours or so. That got me thinking of when I first started this blog, it was my original intention to fil it with funny videos I found online and as most of us are stressed out at the moment I think I'll dedicate my next few blogs to bringin the lols via stuff I find online :) Like the lolrus and his bucket... still cracks me up!! Follow the link below to see his journey in full... it beats studying anyway :)

#ChristmasPudge

The following list is an estimate of what I ate and drank over the Christmas Break:

2 x Selection Boxes
1 x McDonald's Festive Apple Pie
1 x Tube of Pink Smarties (Cheer's @IanGriffinLOLS)
3 x Chocolate Santas
10 x Bags of Taytos
2 x Share-size bag of Doritos
1,000 x Chicken nuggets
2 x Tubs of Ben and Jerrys (Baked Alaska, Chocolate Fudge Brownie)
4 x Litres of Tanora
5 x Christmas Sandwiches
2 x Christmas Dinners
4 x Glasses of Mulled Wine
Half a Mince Pie (First time trying one, Yock)
1 x Frozen Pizza
3 x Lennoxes Feasts

And I'm not going to estimate on the admittedly large volume of alcohol consumed.Im my opinion this would equal to about 140,000 Calories. Combined with a couple of hunded hours parked on my bum infront of a Christmas movie this equals to:

#ChristmasPudge

This has led to me deciding to keep the following New Year's Resolutions:

1. Start Jogging. (Even though I am in no way athletic and by all admissions run awkwardly)

2. Throw away left over tins of biscuits/ Boxes of Celebrations. (Resist all temptations to poke through the bins to get them back)

3. Stop putting sugar in my tea. (Ok I don't take Sugar in my tea but I needed a resolution that I knew I wouldn't break)

All words of encouragement welcome :)

#GettingBuffFor2012 :)

Merry Christmas Everbody :)

Very short blog this week, just wanted to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and the happiest of New Years :) I'm not feeling too Christmasy just yet and I'm putting that down to the fact that I'm still working on my final assignment of 2011. Come noon tomorrow though it'll be handed in and I'll be off in town to finish my Christmas shopping. I'm going to take a small break from the blog for the holidays but I'll be back in action again on the first Wednesday of 2012 :)

Merry Christmas again guys,

Lots of Love,

Noelle & Penny
xxx

Penny's Story

This blog is dedicated to the new lady in my life. Lady Penelope Marshmallow Fluffington... Penny for short. She's my new rescue puppy and we've all fallen madly in love with her already (My Dad's letting on that he doesn't like her that much but as I type she's snuggled up next to his beard, curled up between his chin and his shoulder). She's teeny tiny, weighs about three pounds with a black fluffy coat and a tanned faced. She likes cuddles and snoozin and treats. She doesn't like my sister's husky Jeff or spicy potato wedges. I met her for the first time on Monday morning when I went to the Dog Shelter in Mahon to rescue a dog. We saw 15 dogs in total. Some were old, some were young. Some were purebreds and some were mongrels (street accidents as my dad likes to call them). Some were happy and playful and others were so skinny and battered looking that all they could do was curl up in the corner. I would have loved to take all of them home but I live in a small apartment with a tiny garden and it wouldn't be fair to bring a big dog home. I was beginning to lose hope and then I met Penny. She was the smallest of five puppies and her Mom was handed into the dog shelter in Mahon heavily pregnant and severely malnourished seven weeks ago. She was delivered via c-section because her Mom was too weak to deliver naturally. All the puppies in the litter and her Mom had all found new homes, except Penny. She was the runt of the litter, extra small and a bit cheeky. It was love at first sight and a few hours later she was set up in her new home, claiming the few inches between my Dad's beard and shoulder as "Penny Territory" and she hasn't ventured very far since. So there you have it, Penny's story :) Not all the doggies in there are so lucky though and many are put down if they are not rehomed. The Dog Shelter is not funded and cannot afford to hold the amount of dogs they currently have, not to mention the extra dogs that are handed in daily. I know not everyone can adopt one of these puppies but a small donation goes along way. So if you can dig deep guys, after all it is Christmas :)

My deepest darkest secret.....

I’m struggling to write this one. It’s my most personal and personally damning blog so far. It’s something I speak of rarely and I can go as far to say that some of my closest friends don’t even know about it… not yet anyway. When it’s brought up on family occasions or in the presence of childhood friends I can feel the palms of my hands sweating and my face burning a bright crimson. It still haunts me eleven years later. It’s something I can’t erase or block from memory, although not for lack of trying. I think back to it on occasion and wonder what I was thinking, what exactly had possessed me to do such a thing? If I were to hazard a guess I’d say it was the hormones raging through my body or the awkward transition from primary to secondary school. To look at me now, smothered in fake tan with hair peroxided within an inch of my life you’d never think I spent my pre-teen years draped in black, chains swinging from my oversized pants with blue streaks running through my hair and Nirvana blaring from my Walkman. Oh my toes are curling even writing this and it genuinely hurts but I… I used to be… a goth. * Shudder. Not even joking, 100% serious. -Photographic evidence available via Niamh Creech’s archives.
Can I explain though? First of all I was 12 and the phase lasted for maybe 8 months, at a push! It did not last until I was 15 despite what some people may suggest ( Niamh Shine/ Carmel Keigher) I did not worship the devil. I did have knee high leather fire boots but they were a present from Santa and I only wore them once because they tore my poor feet to ribbons. I did not wear black lipstick and I did not have back hair. I did wear stripey luminous tights, that one I can’t deny. I did have one of those dog collar things and I did rock a pretty badass shade of blue mascara. So that was pretty much it. When it was over, the Summer after first year, I got a full head of highlights and started using my Mom’s old Elizabeth Arden Toasty Beige foundation and half empty bottles of Rimmel instant tan- thus began my lifelong love of being various shades of orange. That’s all it was really.
I eventually reverted back to my pre gothic days and a few months later I saw Mean Girls and that pretty much dominated my teen years. I bleached my hair, waxed my eyebrows bought a push up bra and I haven’t ventured outside my house without make up since.
So there you have it. I own my awks!

Disney Oldies :)

I'm really having a throw back to the early 90's lately. It all started when the Lion King was brough out in 3D a few weeks back... My friends and I booked our tickets in advance and queued up eagerly with a bunch of pre-teens and the Reel picture in Ballincollig. OMG I forgot how amazeballs the Lion King is. I cried from start to finish and ran home and downloaded the soundtrack. Seriously though how amazing is every single Disney movie ever made? I've watched nearly all of them on you tube since then. They were all just as good as I remembered even though the clips of Aladin I was watching had video footage of pokemon battles integrated into it but if anything it added effect. Wathing it in your twenties is a bit different from when you're watching it as a five year old... like did you know that all Disney movies were musicals!? Ok so obviously when you think back now duh! of course they're musicals but at the time you're like awh I wish my life was like that... breaking out in song randomly and everyone around me knowing all the words to the song I'm making up on the spot. And have you ever noticed that atleast one of the romantic leads is the son or daughter of a sultan/ chief/ mer-king/ chinese army guy?? And that they all always had a small little animal sidekick that could talk.. or atleast almost talk and rarely left their side? Here's a list of everything I've noticed about these movies that I never noticed first time round. (Don't laugh, I was five at the time)

1. Pocahontas was Native American. I thought she was Spannish.
2. Beauty and the Beast embarked on an emotional inter-species relationship.
3. Aladin was an untouchable.
4. What would the little mermaid have done when she got onto dry land to find Eric and someone served her up fish and chips? Was she part fish?
5. Simba would have eventually eaten Pumba and Timone
6. In a Bugs Life the bugs travel around performing in a "bug circus". This does not happen in real life and don't waste two Summers looking for them
7. Your toys do not come to life when you leave the room... don't try and sneak up on them.

That's all I've come up with so far... If I think of more I'll let you know! Till next week :) xxx

Nellerd's Comm Ball Predictions with a few tips thrown in for good measure

So just applied my first layer of base tan, bleached my teeth, waxed my eyebrows, painted my nails and my six rows of hair extensions are marinating in hair conditioner originally meant for horses manes and tails to make 'em shiny and stuff so I figured if it works that well on scruffy horse hair imagine what it'll do for my extensions (If they don't disintegrate that is). My predictions for the ball this year are that Ian Griffin will lose something of value (camera,phone,pants), I'll take a tumble because my shoes are a size too small, jagerbombs will be consumed in staggering amounts, Jean and me will get hungry having skipped the full meal and insist on getting a maccy d's drive thru on the way home, comcest shall be rampant, drink spillages on our lovely dresses is a certainty and we'll all feel very sad and old that its our last ball :( BOO!!!

Hmm all the same here are some of my very best tips for all the ladies:

1. Sally Hanson covers everything
2. Avoid Niall "Drink Spiller" Griffin
3. No carbs before Marbs: Nobody likes a food baby
4. Fake eyelashes are the shizznet.. I'm wearing four pairs
5. When it comes to tan, the darker the better!

Sorry this weeks entry was a bit short must dash and throw on my next few layers of St. Tropez! Till next week my lovelies :) xxx

Skewl

I'm in my final year in college and I can't believe how fast the years have gone by I feel like I was fresher just a couple months ago. I had a scary thought a few weeks back (as I begrudgingly turned 23)... I started my first year in secondary school ten years ago. Ten whole years ago. Where do the years go? One minute your a nervous thirteen year old who's a bit short for their age starting grown up school, the next you're a 23 year old, who's a bit short for their age graduating from college! I miss secondary school all the same though. I wish I could go back in time and tell my thirteen year old self to take my hair out of the slicked back bun and invest in a bita fake tan... Of course there's a few things that I don't miss like wearing the same scratchy blue jumper in the blistering heat and freezing cold. And I don't miss studying for stuff that I have yet to and probably will NEVER use in real life like which rocks are igneous and which are sedimentary. I don't miss a few old teachers who intead of giving out to you directly posed your misbehaviour to you as question. "Do you walk on the grass at home?, Do you sit near the rad at home?, Do you use your mobile phone at home?" Em yes, yes I do... Doesn't everyone? But there are things I truly miss about my school days like Fridays. Why don't I get excited about Fridays anymore, it's just another day to me now? I miss that feeling of being in class and wanted to laugh at something so bad but not being able to so you turn the brightest shade of firetruck red trying to keep it all in. I miss passing notes and the sense of accomplishment having sent your note successfully without getting caught. I miss checking text messages on my phone, which was hidden in the boob pocket of my shirt under my horrible scratchy blue jumper like some kind of text message checking ninja. I miss non-uniform days. I miss when someone forgot that it was a non-uniform day and had to walk around all day sticking out like a sore thumb. I miss telling the girls that collected the money for the non-uniform day that my imagnary older sister paid my two euro for me and sneakily pocketing it for myself. I miss seeing my best friends everyday. I miss forgetting to pick my friend Creecher up for school and only remembering as I arrived myself. I miss regailing everyone with the tale of how I'd forgotten her and reinacting my interpretation of her standing outside of her house, a sack on her back full of books, waiting for a lift that wasn't coming. Don't wory her Mom eventually found her and brought her in but whenever I think back to that day when she walked into class 20 minutes late I still laugh out loud and not even to myself. I genuinely break out in a chuckle. Those were the days :)

Nellerd's Thoughts :)

It's November already and since I didn't give up anything for lent I decided to take another stab at giving something up, for the Holy souls and all that :) I thought long and hard about what some of my favourite things in the world are and decided after much antagonising deliberation that my two most favourite things ever are Havanas and Jagerbombs. They will be missed but this is an economical decision as well as a spiritual one. Think of the money I'll save save on fake tan, eyelashes, jagerbombs, vodkas to wash down the jagerbombs, more jagerbombs, chicken nuggets for after and taxis home? I'll be rolling in it come December. But oh, oh how I will miss my Friday nights in Havanas :( I'll miss the bouncers patrolling at the top of the queue, reminiscent of some low budget tv3 production of Criminal Minds, I'll miss carefully placing my cloakroom ticket in my bag to be lost inexplicably? I'll miss throwing some serious shapes on the dancefloor and the feeling of pure joy when you're next in the queue for the ladies' room. Heaven :) Perhaps some of the things I will be able to live without are suffering from post night out amnesia after one too many, the empty purse full of receipts and feeling like you're on work experience with taxi drivers who tell you everything thats wrong with our government and the general everyday struggles that go hand in hand with being a taxi driver... but I'll struggle on. It's November 2nd today. That's one night down and 29 more to go. I'll keep ye updated :)

Hello

Just a quick intro my blog! It's a collection of all my favourite clips and pics online <3