My deepest darkest secret.....

I’m struggling to write this one. It’s my most personal and personally damning blog so far. It’s something I speak of rarely and I can go as far to say that some of my closest friends don’t even know about it… not yet anyway. When it’s brought up on family occasions or in the presence of childhood friends I can feel the palms of my hands sweating and my face burning a bright crimson. It still haunts me eleven years later. It’s something I can’t erase or block from memory, although not for lack of trying. I think back to it on occasion and wonder what I was thinking, what exactly had possessed me to do such a thing? If I were to hazard a guess I’d say it was the hormones raging through my body or the awkward transition from primary to secondary school. To look at me now, smothered in fake tan with hair peroxided within an inch of my life you’d never think I spent my pre-teen years draped in black, chains swinging from my oversized pants with blue streaks running through my hair and Nirvana blaring from my Walkman. Oh my toes are curling even writing this and it genuinely hurts but I… I used to be… a goth. * Shudder. Not even joking, 100% serious. -Photographic evidence available via Niamh Creech’s archives.
Can I explain though? First of all I was 12 and the phase lasted for maybe 8 months, at a push! It did not last until I was 15 despite what some people may suggest ( Niamh Shine/ Carmel Keigher) I did not worship the devil. I did have knee high leather fire boots but they were a present from Santa and I only wore them once because they tore my poor feet to ribbons. I did not wear black lipstick and I did not have back hair. I did wear stripey luminous tights, that one I can’t deny. I did have one of those dog collar things and I did rock a pretty badass shade of blue mascara. So that was pretty much it. When it was over, the Summer after first year, I got a full head of highlights and started using my Mom’s old Elizabeth Arden Toasty Beige foundation and half empty bottles of Rimmel instant tan- thus began my lifelong love of being various shades of orange. That’s all it was really.
I eventually reverted back to my pre gothic days and a few months later I saw Mean Girls and that pretty much dominated my teen years. I bleached my hair, waxed my eyebrows bought a push up bra and I haven’t ventured outside my house without make up since.
So there you have it. I own my awks!